Sunday, April 23, 2006
God Save The WWE
With Backlash only a week away, it's no surprise that Vince McMahon has pulled out all the stops to keep the post-WrestleMania momentum going. Moving Edge back to the main event was a sensible move, and the 3-way promos have been some of the interesting and dynamic segments in WWE in a long time. Some would say (ok, I said all along) that the Triple Threat Match scheduled for Backlash should have actually headlined Mania after Edge's meteoric rise to the top, and would have ensured a smooth title change from Edge to HHH. The way it eventually went down, HHH got another chance to do his yearly Mania job, then come out the next night and say, "We all know it's my title anyway". At least they've stumbled across the unique Cena reactions, and allowed the three of them to write their own promo scripts. Let that be a precedent - someone like Shelton Benjamin shouldn't be coming out and reciting some lame material written by a 23-yr-old Hollywood writer; it just doesn't work in 2006.
The so-called main event, however, is quickly becoming overshadowed by other characters. Namely, Shawn Michaels, Vince and Shane McMahon and the biggest superstar of them all. Yes, that's right; God. They've gone and booked God in a tag team match at Backlash. There are two possible reasons for this clinically insane move: either they're having a bit of fun, or they seriously expect people to pay $35 to see God make his in-ring debut. I was prepared to accept the former argument (the McMahon family prayer at WrestleMania was brilliant, and I burst out laughing when Vince announced the tag team match), until this week's deranged promo - the birth of McMahonism. You see, Vince LIVES his gimmick. In real life, he likes to think of himself as the man who single handedly killed WCW, took over American wrestling, created Hulk Hogan, The Rock and Stone Cold and changed the face of sports entertainment all by himself. Oh, and the man who "brought the US Government to its knees". So when he does his exaggerated duck walk to the ring and launches his own religion, you have to question how tongue-in-cheek it really is. WWE.COM has a graphic up saying, "My Son, My Son", and a picture of McMahon looking wretched. Apparently he's sending Shane into battle in London, England this Monday against Michaels and God. In other words, forsaking his son. This is one angle where most people are refusing to simply laugh at the irony, and are aiming staunch criticism in McMahon's direction. A Danish newspaper has even been moved to comment (If it's not one thing with them, it's another). Unfortunately, McMahon gets a kick out of negative publicity, and will probably book God and McMahonism for months to give his critics a royal FU. The same man who forgot how to book the nWo, put a wig on Goldberg, booked WCW as a joke, exploits everyone's personal problems (except his own), wastes months with the Diva Search then fires the contestants when they get over, and can't be bothered bring back Stacy Keibler (last seen being cruelly Punk'd in front of an audience that dwarves those of RAW or Smackdown). Since WrestleMania X-7 five long years ago, his company has yet to permanently regain the form of the late Nineties. How on earth is a PPV match with God going to change that? He can throw in all the fire and lightning he wants (and the segment on RAW was a magnificent build for God's debut), but no-one in their right mind is going to stump up cash for a match they know they can't physically see. That's like forcing your Tough Enough contestants to dress like women and prance around in...oh sorry, they've already done that.
Wig: Goldberg
Over on Smackdown, Rey Mysterio is now getting booed by smartasses in the crowd. This really annoys me. I don't if it's something against Mysterio (he does look a little odd carrying around a Heavyweight title), or if he's just another victim of the culture of disrespect sweeping the world. You see it when 2 or 3 people inexplicably boo Matt Hardy on Smackdown; when some twat boos every word Christian says on TNA Impact; when the likes of Kurt Angle and Sting get booed every week. I've noticed this increasingly over the past two or three months, and it's getting on my nerves. Why can't people just go to a show and show a little respect? Why do they have to defy normality and rationality just to show off? Mysterio's title reign will go down the drain if the London crowd turns on him, and given the traditional British TV Taping audience (ie. smarks who think they've "worked out" Cena and Mysterio), I fear for his chances. Still, he and Angle should have a great match. Pity that Benoit vs. Finlay has been moved to next week so London can bear witness to Lashley vs. Mark Henry. Could be a long night for the Colorado Springs, Colorado native.
WWE Communications Snafu of the Week: The pillocks at Stamford have no idea if Stacy Keibler is coming to Belfast or not. On Easter Sunday (probably promted by God, as preparation for his tag match), The Belfast Telegraph reported Stacy as appearing this Tuedsay at a signing session in Eason's. Thing is, she hasn't been seen at a WWE event since September, and it would be improbably stupid to bar her from WrestleMania and then send her to Northern Ireland to meet a few dozen people. Although it would also be giving something back to the fans - remember that concept Vince? Anyway, HMV then claimed she would be there on Wedneday signing books with Rey Mysterio, a claim later retracted by their website. To cut a long story short, she'll probably not be there, and is unlikely ever to appear with the WWE again. And I live near Belfast. Pity, that. If she happens to turn up after all, and I'm not there, the WWE will never hear the end of it. They can't expect me to book train and boat tickets and one night's accommodation, on the off chance they can bother their asses flying her over. Shoddy, Vince. Plain shoddy. I'll remember that when you're booking a Giant Khali & Mark Henry vs. Jesus & Moses match at Armageddon.
The so-called main event, however, is quickly becoming overshadowed by other characters. Namely, Shawn Michaels, Vince and Shane McMahon and the biggest superstar of them all. Yes, that's right; God. They've gone and booked God in a tag team match at Backlash. There are two possible reasons for this clinically insane move: either they're having a bit of fun, or they seriously expect people to pay $35 to see God make his in-ring debut. I was prepared to accept the former argument (the McMahon family prayer at WrestleMania was brilliant, and I burst out laughing when Vince announced the tag team match), until this week's deranged promo - the birth of McMahonism. You see, Vince LIVES his gimmick. In real life, he likes to think of himself as the man who single handedly killed WCW, took over American wrestling, created Hulk Hogan, The Rock and Stone Cold and changed the face of sports entertainment all by himself. Oh, and the man who "brought the US Government to its knees". So when he does his exaggerated duck walk to the ring and launches his own religion, you have to question how tongue-in-cheek it really is. WWE.COM has a graphic up saying, "My Son, My Son", and a picture of McMahon looking wretched. Apparently he's sending Shane into battle in London, England this Monday against Michaels and God. In other words, forsaking his son. This is one angle where most people are refusing to simply laugh at the irony, and are aiming staunch criticism in McMahon's direction. A Danish newspaper has even been moved to comment (If it's not one thing with them, it's another). Unfortunately, McMahon gets a kick out of negative publicity, and will probably book God and McMahonism for months to give his critics a royal FU. The same man who forgot how to book the nWo, put a wig on Goldberg, booked WCW as a joke, exploits everyone's personal problems (except his own), wastes months with the Diva Search then fires the contestants when they get over, and can't be bothered bring back Stacy Keibler (last seen being cruelly Punk'd in front of an audience that dwarves those of RAW or Smackdown). Since WrestleMania X-7 five long years ago, his company has yet to permanently regain the form of the late Nineties. How on earth is a PPV match with God going to change that? He can throw in all the fire and lightning he wants (and the segment on RAW was a magnificent build for God's debut), but no-one in their right mind is going to stump up cash for a match they know they can't physically see. That's like forcing your Tough Enough contestants to dress like women and prance around in...oh sorry, they've already done that.
Wig: Goldberg
Over on Smackdown, Rey Mysterio is now getting booed by smartasses in the crowd. This really annoys me. I don't if it's something against Mysterio (he does look a little odd carrying around a Heavyweight title), or if he's just another victim of the culture of disrespect sweeping the world. You see it when 2 or 3 people inexplicably boo Matt Hardy on Smackdown; when some twat boos every word Christian says on TNA Impact; when the likes of Kurt Angle and Sting get booed every week. I've noticed this increasingly over the past two or three months, and it's getting on my nerves. Why can't people just go to a show and show a little respect? Why do they have to defy normality and rationality just to show off? Mysterio's title reign will go down the drain if the London crowd turns on him, and given the traditional British TV Taping audience (ie. smarks who think they've "worked out" Cena and Mysterio), I fear for his chances. Still, he and Angle should have a great match. Pity that Benoit vs. Finlay has been moved to next week so London can bear witness to Lashley vs. Mark Henry. Could be a long night for the Colorado Springs, Colorado native.
WWE Communications Snafu of the Week: The pillocks at Stamford have no idea if Stacy Keibler is coming to Belfast or not. On Easter Sunday (probably promted by God, as preparation for his tag match), The Belfast Telegraph reported Stacy as appearing this Tuedsay at a signing session in Eason's. Thing is, she hasn't been seen at a WWE event since September, and it would be improbably stupid to bar her from WrestleMania and then send her to Northern Ireland to meet a few dozen people. Although it would also be giving something back to the fans - remember that concept Vince? Anyway, HMV then claimed she would be there on Wedneday signing books with Rey Mysterio, a claim later retracted by their website. To cut a long story short, she'll probably not be there, and is unlikely ever to appear with the WWE again. And I live near Belfast. Pity, that. If she happens to turn up after all, and I'm not there, the WWE will never hear the end of it. They can't expect me to book train and boat tickets and one night's accommodation, on the off chance they can bother their asses flying her over. Shoddy, Vince. Plain shoddy. I'll remember that when you're booking a Giant Khali & Mark Henry vs. Jesus & Moses match at Armageddon.
