Thursday, March 30, 2006
Mysterio's Time to Shine?
WrestleMania Big Time Countdown: 0 days.
As I exclusively predicted last week, RAW in Omaha was a roaring success with the crowd. They should go to Omaha whenever they need a hot crowd before a PPV. Come to think of it, they should go there whenever they have a Smackdown PPV to shoot; then we wouldn't have to sit through such sleep-inducing events as No Mercy, Armageddon and No Way Out with a dead crowd. I'm reliably informed that the Vince McMahon vs. John Cena main event drew one of the highest ratings for a single match in a few years, at 4.99. No doubt the anti-Cena lot will ignore that, for obvious reasons.
Smackdown was also a good show, if not quite an unforgettable climax to the Road to WrestleMania. Kansas City was another blistering crowd (of UK proportions, I might add), and there was almost no need for the ludicrous fake noise they pipe in on a weekly basis. Lashley continues to mature in the ring, and is building up momentum to a level I haven't seen since the meteroic rises of Batista and Lesnar. My earlier fears of a Lashley vs. Sylvan match in Chicago were thankfully not realised, and "The Real Deal" has a shot at winning the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This guy needs handled with care, otherwise his connection with the fans will disappear before you can say "Austin vs. Coach at Taboo Tuesday".
Lashley: Building Momentum
Performances of the Week :-
Joey Styles. Let's face it, to turn up at RAW after getting pulled from WrestleMania on your company's website - that takes some serious swallowing of pride. I feel he should be praised by default.
Lashley. See above. The company needs a guy to come out, pull mean faces and beat up everybody. He's their best hope at the moment.
John Cena. Excellent pre-recorded promo on RAW. Were it not for the rampant hatred from the hardcore fans (and the fact HHH saunters round looking cool, thus deflecting all the cheers), this would be enough to make him the babyface going into Mania. As it was, it was probably too little, too late.
Rey Mysterio. He really has the fans behind him at the right time. His promo on Smackdown was so rabidly cheered by the Kansas City fans that they ended up booing the frig out of Kurt Angle, the face champion. Angle will get a lot of support in Chicago, but I still see Mysterio being the fan favourite. The WWE simply HAVE to capitalise on this, as they've missed the boat on far too many occasions before (Invasion, ECW, nWo, Goldberg, Bischoff etc). Install Rey as the champion, see what happens to the ratings and attendances, and take it from there. See, wasn't that hard to organise.
I'm rapidly running out of time, so it's only right I give a rundown of the card with my predictions on the winners and losers respectively:-
Big Show & Kane vs. Chris Masters & Carlito - World Tag Team Championships: The young guns could well cause an upset here. Someone has to stop the monstrous 820-pound duo, and the gimmick of the tag champs not getting along has been experimented with before. That is, of course, assuming they want to do a darned thing with the tag division. That could be asking too much.
Booker T & Sharmell vs. The Boogeyman: Boogeyman in a short match. Anything else is asking for trouble.
JBL vs. Chris Benoit - US Championship: JBL. It's been a long time since he tasted gold (is that a phrase?), and Chicago could be where he finds success again. This has the potential to be a FAR better match than you'd think.
Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson - Playboy Pillow Fight: Candice. If Stacy Keibler doesn't return after the match, then WWE have just wasted the opportunity of a lifetime for some positive publicity. But then, they've probably not even thought of that idea, as it doesn't involve Survivor Series 1997, HHH or Vince McMahon's ass. Some things will never change.
Publicity: Keibler
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - WWE Women's Championship: The best built women's feud in years reaches its climax. Mickie has to win, for logic's sake. For any WWE employees, that's logic - L. O. G. I. C.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: By process of elimination (like the Chamber), Lashley or Flair have to win. But my good friend Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer (put it this way - he's printed my e-mails before without a hint of disagreement) says RVD could take the briefcase all the way to ECW One Night Stand to challenge HHH for the WWE Title. I know, it makes no sense to me either. Even though a Lashley victory makes a little more long-term sense, I'd say Flair. He may well have one more run at the top left in him.
Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Casket Match: Undertaker. That's it, really. Everyone will go in expecting a stinker and be surprised by the match quality. Mark my words.
Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels - No Holds Barred: I know they tried to get Bret involved for three months and he refused at every opportunity. Vince probably didn't have much of a Plan B, so expect a dramatic bloodbath and a Michaels victory in the face of Shane interference.
Edge vs. Mick Foley - Hardcore Match: Foley desires that one legendary WrestleMania moment, and he has every chance of pulling it off here. Edge has to win, but then they cut off his momentum in January, so they could easily do it again. Lita will be at ringside for a good 20 minutes, so the match is already a classic in my eyes.
Triple H vs. John Cena - WWE Championship: This is where it gets tricky. Until the weekend, I'd predicted an emphatic HHH victory. However, HHH has committed nothing short of career burial in his promos on Cena, so WWE might well spring a surprise and give the Champ a stay of execution. Wither way, the "King of Kings" is getting re-coronated by Backlash. Cena will be booed mercilessly, possibly on an unforseen scale.
Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle - World Heavyweight Championship: The other half of the jigsaw, to so speak. Vince loves to end Mania with a babyface victory (the only time a heel won, in 2000, The Rock gave The People's Elbow to the entire McMahon family to placate the fans), so Mysterio could end the show in floods of tears surrounded by Benoit, Chavo and even Dean Malenko. It's the picture-perfect end to the show, for obvious reasons, and as a tribute to Guerrero, it's a million miles from the "Eddie's in hell" debacle. But I was led to believe their long-term plans were to give Orton the belt. Either way, either Cena or Mysterio will most likely end the show celebrating. But since Cena is bound to be booed of of the All-State Arena, the matter is confused further. The order of the card will be very telling in deciding how the two main events go and, ultimately, how the company goes after WrestleMania. Rumour has it that plans have changed half a dozen times over the weekend, and that Vince doesn't have a clue where the comapny goes from here. He's clearly been too busy trying to look all macho in his 'Muscle and Fitness' shoot.
But however the cookie crumbles (proverbially), WrestleMania is bound to be a frig of a show. Will Hogan or Austin show up? Will the impossible happen (a Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels punch-up? Will the scriptwriters finally remember who Stacy Keibler is? Whatever happens, it's sure to be a pretty unforgettable night. For better or worse, it's been that sort of year.
As I exclusively predicted last week, RAW in Omaha was a roaring success with the crowd. They should go to Omaha whenever they need a hot crowd before a PPV. Come to think of it, they should go there whenever they have a Smackdown PPV to shoot; then we wouldn't have to sit through such sleep-inducing events as No Mercy, Armageddon and No Way Out with a dead crowd. I'm reliably informed that the Vince McMahon vs. John Cena main event drew one of the highest ratings for a single match in a few years, at 4.99. No doubt the anti-Cena lot will ignore that, for obvious reasons.
Smackdown was also a good show, if not quite an unforgettable climax to the Road to WrestleMania. Kansas City was another blistering crowd (of UK proportions, I might add), and there was almost no need for the ludicrous fake noise they pipe in on a weekly basis. Lashley continues to mature in the ring, and is building up momentum to a level I haven't seen since the meteroic rises of Batista and Lesnar. My earlier fears of a Lashley vs. Sylvan match in Chicago were thankfully not realised, and "The Real Deal" has a shot at winning the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This guy needs handled with care, otherwise his connection with the fans will disappear before you can say "Austin vs. Coach at Taboo Tuesday".
Lashley: Building Momentum
Performances of the Week :-
Joey Styles. Let's face it, to turn up at RAW after getting pulled from WrestleMania on your company's website - that takes some serious swallowing of pride. I feel he should be praised by default.
Lashley. See above. The company needs a guy to come out, pull mean faces and beat up everybody. He's their best hope at the moment.
John Cena. Excellent pre-recorded promo on RAW. Were it not for the rampant hatred from the hardcore fans (and the fact HHH saunters round looking cool, thus deflecting all the cheers), this would be enough to make him the babyface going into Mania. As it was, it was probably too little, too late.
Rey Mysterio. He really has the fans behind him at the right time. His promo on Smackdown was so rabidly cheered by the Kansas City fans that they ended up booing the frig out of Kurt Angle, the face champion. Angle will get a lot of support in Chicago, but I still see Mysterio being the fan favourite. The WWE simply HAVE to capitalise on this, as they've missed the boat on far too many occasions before (Invasion, ECW, nWo, Goldberg, Bischoff etc). Install Rey as the champion, see what happens to the ratings and attendances, and take it from there. See, wasn't that hard to organise.
I'm rapidly running out of time, so it's only right I give a rundown of the card with my predictions on the winners and losers respectively:-
Big Show & Kane vs. Chris Masters & Carlito - World Tag Team Championships: The young guns could well cause an upset here. Someone has to stop the monstrous 820-pound duo, and the gimmick of the tag champs not getting along has been experimented with before. That is, of course, assuming they want to do a darned thing with the tag division. That could be asking too much.
Booker T & Sharmell vs. The Boogeyman: Boogeyman in a short match. Anything else is asking for trouble.
JBL vs. Chris Benoit - US Championship: JBL. It's been a long time since he tasted gold (is that a phrase?), and Chicago could be where he finds success again. This has the potential to be a FAR better match than you'd think.
Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson - Playboy Pillow Fight: Candice. If Stacy Keibler doesn't return after the match, then WWE have just wasted the opportunity of a lifetime for some positive publicity. But then, they've probably not even thought of that idea, as it doesn't involve Survivor Series 1997, HHH or Vince McMahon's ass. Some things will never change.
Publicity: Keibler
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - WWE Women's Championship: The best built women's feud in years reaches its climax. Mickie has to win, for logic's sake. For any WWE employees, that's logic - L. O. G. I. C.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: By process of elimination (like the Chamber), Lashley or Flair have to win. But my good friend Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer (put it this way - he's printed my e-mails before without a hint of disagreement) says RVD could take the briefcase all the way to ECW One Night Stand to challenge HHH for the WWE Title. I know, it makes no sense to me either. Even though a Lashley victory makes a little more long-term sense, I'd say Flair. He may well have one more run at the top left in him.
Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Casket Match: Undertaker. That's it, really. Everyone will go in expecting a stinker and be surprised by the match quality. Mark my words.
Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels - No Holds Barred: I know they tried to get Bret involved for three months and he refused at every opportunity. Vince probably didn't have much of a Plan B, so expect a dramatic bloodbath and a Michaels victory in the face of Shane interference.
Edge vs. Mick Foley - Hardcore Match: Foley desires that one legendary WrestleMania moment, and he has every chance of pulling it off here. Edge has to win, but then they cut off his momentum in January, so they could easily do it again. Lita will be at ringside for a good 20 minutes, so the match is already a classic in my eyes.
Triple H vs. John Cena - WWE Championship: This is where it gets tricky. Until the weekend, I'd predicted an emphatic HHH victory. However, HHH has committed nothing short of career burial in his promos on Cena, so WWE might well spring a surprise and give the Champ a stay of execution. Wither way, the "King of Kings" is getting re-coronated by Backlash. Cena will be booed mercilessly, possibly on an unforseen scale.
Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle - World Heavyweight Championship: The other half of the jigsaw, to so speak. Vince loves to end Mania with a babyface victory (the only time a heel won, in 2000, The Rock gave The People's Elbow to the entire McMahon family to placate the fans), so Mysterio could end the show in floods of tears surrounded by Benoit, Chavo and even Dean Malenko. It's the picture-perfect end to the show, for obvious reasons, and as a tribute to Guerrero, it's a million miles from the "Eddie's in hell" debacle. But I was led to believe their long-term plans were to give Orton the belt. Either way, either Cena or Mysterio will most likely end the show celebrating. But since Cena is bound to be booed of of the All-State Arena, the matter is confused further. The order of the card will be very telling in deciding how the two main events go and, ultimately, how the company goes after WrestleMania. Rumour has it that plans have changed half a dozen times over the weekend, and that Vince doesn't have a clue where the comapny goes from here. He's clearly been too busy trying to look all macho in his 'Muscle and Fitness' shoot.
But however the cookie crumbles (proverbially), WrestleMania is bound to be a frig of a show. Will Hogan or Austin show up? Will the impossible happen (a Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels punch-up? Will the scriptwriters finally remember who Stacy Keibler is? Whatever happens, it's sure to be a pretty unforgettable night. For better or worse, it's been that sort of year.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Bittersweet Symphony
WrestleMania Big Time Countdown: 8 days.
Firstly, I have to apologise for my heinous error in the last blog. Saturday Night's Main Event actually drew a 3.1, and not a 3.2 as I had stated. I bet Vince says it's JR's fault. Anyway, the situation at Stamford as we rapidly approach WrestleMania is confusing to say the least. WWE have just posted their best run of RAW ratings in four long years, and are entering their most financially successful spell for some time. However, they continue to produce lackluster television and, after the Orton-Mysterio-Guerrero debacle, have turned away many of their most dedicated fans. SNME tanked on NBC, and No Way Out was a disasterous return to the Pay-Per-View buyrates of 2004. If it wasn't for the new international fans, they'd actually be struggling to break even on the PPV's at the moment. Can you believe that? Meanwhile Vince allows John Laurinatius to fire midcarders at his own free will, while picking up $47m a year. Confusing? You bet.
Performances of the Week:-
Mick Foley.If ever a storyline needed a classic promo, this was the time. And he delivered this past week on RAW. You can always call on Foley to inject passion and drama into a feud when the chips are down (not literally). The intensity of his promos is almost unmatched in wrestling today, and you have to wonder what a Flair-Foley feud would be like if the two of them put aside their rather petty issues. I don't know what he was thinking when he publicly buried his books though. It's all very well being honest with your fans, but saying that "nobody" reads your literary work is stretching it a bit. And as for spurning Lita's advances? What were you thinking Mick?
Advances: Lita
Mickie James. Her promo this week was superb, and we truly have a women's feud the fans are interested in. Cena vs. Edge and Mickie vs. Ashley were the only matches at the Royal Rumble with any interest going in, (the Rumble match itself was surely the worst promoted Rumble in history), and Mickie vs. Trish is one of most intriguing clashes in Chicago.
Finlay. His name is Finlay. And he loves to fight. And have entertaining brawls with Rey Mysterio.
Booker T and Sharmell. They both deserve awards for the entertainment and interest they've created in the Boogeyman feud. Similar to the Edge-Cena angle of January, they're so great as heels that fans actually want the worm-guzzling weirdo (alliteration) to destroy them at WrestleMania. Although I have to admit, that walk he does is quite funny.
Weird: Boogeyman
With only a week to go, 'The Grand Daddy of Them All' is finally shaping up to be a great show. Trouble is, WrestleMania isn't supposed to be just great. It's supposed to be spell-binding, memorable, legendary, awe-inspiring. At this point, I reckon only the McMahon-Michaels match has the potential to live up to the hype of past Mania's, and even that would require a Bret Hart run-in (which is highly unlikely to happen). Yes, the Angle-Orton-Mysterio match could be a classic, but I have a sneaking suspicion they'll book it into the ground with ref bumps, belt shots and extensive steel chair usage. The match will only go down in history as unforgettable if Rey wins it, and although that sounds like the obvious finish, there's much less chance of it happening than you'd think. Many important people in the company (even after the Matt Hardy debacle, John Laurinatius still has a job) don't consider Mysterio to be a viable option as World Heavyweight Champion, mainly due to his size. Admittedly, it would be rather odd to hear Tony Chimel announce Rey as the Heavyweight Champion of anything. But to deny him the title would be cruel, given his exceptional talent and connection with the fans. When you go to a WWE live event, do you see anyone wearing merchandise of Hardcore Holly or Sylvan? No. Do you see thousands upon thousands of children with John Cena caps and T-Shirts combined with Rey Mysterio masks? Yes. The company needs to capitalise on this, otherwise Smackdown will be having another painful spring into summer...
Todd Grisham is brilliant on Bottom Line. Coach should have stayed on these weekend shows too; they really are his niche.
Grisham: Brilliant
When are the Ashley Missaro haters going to realise that she's popular, likeable and staying for a while? It's pathetic. I managed to practically shut down an Ashley-hating site last week just for defending her. Laughably, they removed the feedback option from all their pages. Say what you want about her wrestling, but you have to realise she was thrown in the ring with no training. It's hardly her fault, is it?
Next week: RAW in Omaha, Nebraska. Out in the middle of nowhere, but Omaha is actually one of those crowds that still make some noise. Should be a cracker.
Firstly, I have to apologise for my heinous error in the last blog. Saturday Night's Main Event actually drew a 3.1, and not a 3.2 as I had stated. I bet Vince says it's JR's fault. Anyway, the situation at Stamford as we rapidly approach WrestleMania is confusing to say the least. WWE have just posted their best run of RAW ratings in four long years, and are entering their most financially successful spell for some time. However, they continue to produce lackluster television and, after the Orton-Mysterio-Guerrero debacle, have turned away many of their most dedicated fans. SNME tanked on NBC, and No Way Out was a disasterous return to the Pay-Per-View buyrates of 2004. If it wasn't for the new international fans, they'd actually be struggling to break even on the PPV's at the moment. Can you believe that? Meanwhile Vince allows John Laurinatius to fire midcarders at his own free will, while picking up $47m a year. Confusing? You bet.
Performances of the Week:-
Mick Foley.If ever a storyline needed a classic promo, this was the time. And he delivered this past week on RAW. You can always call on Foley to inject passion and drama into a feud when the chips are down (not literally). The intensity of his promos is almost unmatched in wrestling today, and you have to wonder what a Flair-Foley feud would be like if the two of them put aside their rather petty issues. I don't know what he was thinking when he publicly buried his books though. It's all very well being honest with your fans, but saying that "nobody" reads your literary work is stretching it a bit. And as for spurning Lita's advances? What were you thinking Mick?
Advances: Lita
Mickie James. Her promo this week was superb, and we truly have a women's feud the fans are interested in. Cena vs. Edge and Mickie vs. Ashley were the only matches at the Royal Rumble with any interest going in, (the Rumble match itself was surely the worst promoted Rumble in history), and Mickie vs. Trish is one of most intriguing clashes in Chicago.
Finlay. His name is Finlay. And he loves to fight. And have entertaining brawls with Rey Mysterio.
Booker T and Sharmell. They both deserve awards for the entertainment and interest they've created in the Boogeyman feud. Similar to the Edge-Cena angle of January, they're so great as heels that fans actually want the worm-guzzling weirdo (alliteration) to destroy them at WrestleMania. Although I have to admit, that walk he does is quite funny.
Weird: Boogeyman
With only a week to go, 'The Grand Daddy of Them All' is finally shaping up to be a great show. Trouble is, WrestleMania isn't supposed to be just great. It's supposed to be spell-binding, memorable, legendary, awe-inspiring. At this point, I reckon only the McMahon-Michaels match has the potential to live up to the hype of past Mania's, and even that would require a Bret Hart run-in (which is highly unlikely to happen). Yes, the Angle-Orton-Mysterio match could be a classic, but I have a sneaking suspicion they'll book it into the ground with ref bumps, belt shots and extensive steel chair usage. The match will only go down in history as unforgettable if Rey wins it, and although that sounds like the obvious finish, there's much less chance of it happening than you'd think. Many important people in the company (even after the Matt Hardy debacle, John Laurinatius still has a job) don't consider Mysterio to be a viable option as World Heavyweight Champion, mainly due to his size. Admittedly, it would be rather odd to hear Tony Chimel announce Rey as the Heavyweight Champion of anything. But to deny him the title would be cruel, given his exceptional talent and connection with the fans. When you go to a WWE live event, do you see anyone wearing merchandise of Hardcore Holly or Sylvan? No. Do you see thousands upon thousands of children with John Cena caps and T-Shirts combined with Rey Mysterio masks? Yes. The company needs to capitalise on this, otherwise Smackdown will be having another painful spring into summer...
Todd Grisham is brilliant on Bottom Line. Coach should have stayed on these weekend shows too; they really are his niche.
Grisham: Brilliant
When are the Ashley Missaro haters going to realise that she's popular, likeable and staying for a while? It's pathetic. I managed to practically shut down an Ashley-hating site last week just for defending her. Laughably, they removed the feedback option from all their pages. Say what you want about her wrestling, but you have to realise she was thrown in the ring with no training. It's hardly her fault, is it?
Next week: RAW in Omaha, Nebraska. Out in the middle of nowhere, but Omaha is actually one of those crowds that still make some noise. Should be a cracker.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Saturday Night's "Flawed" Event
There's very little need for an introduction, since the title gives away the subject in a rather self-explanatory way. In short, this is a WWE blog. So if anyone feels like weighing in with a load of garbage about the wrestling industry (e.g. "YOU MORON! IT'S ALL FAKE! YOU CAN'T WATCH SOMETHING THAT'S FAKE! YOU MORON! I'm away to watch Friends now."), then your feedback can go screw itself. Other than that, all comments are welcome.
With that, I shall begin. Saturday Night's Main Event featured a welcome return to network TV for the WWE, re-establishing a tradition that goes back 20 years. Unfortunately, it tanked. Not the show itself, which featured the cream of the crop from RAW and Smackdown, a string of entertaining segments, an exciting opener and a dramatic main event. But the rating was, for want of a better word, horrendous. A 3.2, to be precise. For comparison, Saturday Night Live usually draws between 6.0 and 7.0, and RAW itself has drawn between 4.0 and 4.5 all year. To the untrained eye it's a baffling one, but closer inspection reveals a string of problems the show had before it even started.
Firstly, wrestling's reputation is in the toilet. No prime time show receives less ad revenue per break (ie. the products advertised on Smackdown are of low value, as the TV industry thinks wrestling fans are the least wealthy demographic in America). Crucially, the teenagers and young adults have been driven away from wrestling by a string of frankly ridiculous storylines. Did anyone think a negrophillia plot is what the company needed in 2002? Vince McMahon and the RAW scriptwriters did. So that's what we got. For the record, the ratings immediately plummeted to 3.0, almost record lows. Did anyone think it would be acceptable to sell out Eddie Guerrero's legacy for a cheap, thoughtless angle involving Randy Orton insulting is memory? Vince McMcahon and the Smackdown scriptwriters did, so that's what we got. Smackdown ratings have stayed below 3.0 since the tacky storyline, and the No Way Out grudge match for Eddie's honour is rumoured to have drawn a similarly poor buyrate. Do I notice a pattern emerging here?
Losing it: McMahon
Thirdly, Triple H has practially run RAW for four years, and people are suffering from HHH fatigue at the moment. So when he took an eight month break from the main event, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was then re-fatigued as he returned to the main event on NBC on Saturday Night. And shock horror, the rating tanked. Now bear in mind, HHH is one of the greatest wrestlers ever. The way he plans out his matches meticulously, brings logic and structure to his storylines and performs flawlessly in the ring is magnificent. He undoubtedly deserves many world title reigns. But TEN? Even the most fanatical HHH fan (I'm presuming there are some out there) would have to admit that's stretching it a tad. Regin No. 11 is predictably starting in a few weeks when he makes John Cena look like a jabroni, and then it'll be off into the horizon, chasing Ric Flair's more meaningful record of 16 world titles. The problem is, no-one takes his quest seriously. Everyone knows that in real life he married the boss's daughter, and can thus muster up another title shot whenever he feels like it. No matter how good he is, it's a fact that he hasn't moved business in the right direction as champion, in the way Batista, John Cena and Edge have recently. You remember Edge, right? The guy who brought RAW its highest ratings since the brand extension in 2002? He's now languishing in the mid-card in a hastily arranged storyline, while the 'King of Kings' plods to his pre-arranged coronation on April 2nd. I doubt the TV audience were filled with glee when they heard that SNME was headlined by matches involving McMahon-Helmsleys. Just because it worked in 2000, doesn't mean it'll work in 2006.
With that said, I have a tremendous amount of respect for HHH's talent. Honest.
The show itself was, as I said, very entertaining. JBL was gold in his segment with Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mickie James continued to amaze the world by being part of an interesting women's storyline (did they swap scriptwriters for this?), and we were spared a Boogeyman match. No offence mate, but you were one of the long line of people called up too quickly from OVW. A year from now and your wrestling will probably be up to scratch, by which point it'll be too late. And they say society learns from its mistakes. Still no sign of Stacy Keibler though. The obvious idea is for her to save Torrie Wilson from Candice "Don't call me arrogant" Michelle and Victoria. So obvious that they'll probably overlook her for some heinous angle involving a midget and The Boogeyman's worms. You think I'm joking? While berating the WWE for attempting to relanuch SNME, the press clearly declared their interest in seeing Stacy again. One news outlet said something along the lines of, "We have no interest in watching HHH and The McMahon's step in the ring again. Now book Stacy Keibler, the most famous wrestler in America today, on the show - then we're talking." But they didn't. I guess they couldn't be bothered thinking up a storyline for her. Again.
Keibler: Not booked
RAW was a decent show this past Monday, although the show only really realises its potential when it comes from Texas, the only state in America with a half-decent crowd. When they go the North-East it's like someone's sat a wet newspaper in front of the crowd, they're so quiet. Unless they're booing the frig out of John Cena, of course. Wake up guys.
I have no idea what happened on Smackdown yet, as I don't read the spoilers. They ruin the entertainment value of the show. Bit like Mark Henry. I know, that was malicious.
WrestleMania Big Time Countdown: 10 days. I can't wait. Sort of.
With that, I shall begin. Saturday Night's Main Event featured a welcome return to network TV for the WWE, re-establishing a tradition that goes back 20 years. Unfortunately, it tanked. Not the show itself, which featured the cream of the crop from RAW and Smackdown, a string of entertaining segments, an exciting opener and a dramatic main event. But the rating was, for want of a better word, horrendous. A 3.2, to be precise. For comparison, Saturday Night Live usually draws between 6.0 and 7.0, and RAW itself has drawn between 4.0 and 4.5 all year. To the untrained eye it's a baffling one, but closer inspection reveals a string of problems the show had before it even started.
Firstly, wrestling's reputation is in the toilet. No prime time show receives less ad revenue per break (ie. the products advertised on Smackdown are of low value, as the TV industry thinks wrestling fans are the least wealthy demographic in America). Crucially, the teenagers and young adults have been driven away from wrestling by a string of frankly ridiculous storylines. Did anyone think a negrophillia plot is what the company needed in 2002? Vince McMahon and the RAW scriptwriters did. So that's what we got. For the record, the ratings immediately plummeted to 3.0, almost record lows. Did anyone think it would be acceptable to sell out Eddie Guerrero's legacy for a cheap, thoughtless angle involving Randy Orton insulting is memory? Vince McMcahon and the Smackdown scriptwriters did, so that's what we got. Smackdown ratings have stayed below 3.0 since the tacky storyline, and the No Way Out grudge match for Eddie's honour is rumoured to have drawn a similarly poor buyrate. Do I notice a pattern emerging here?
Losing it: McMahon
Thirdly, Triple H has practially run RAW for four years, and people are suffering from HHH fatigue at the moment. So when he took an eight month break from the main event, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was then re-fatigued as he returned to the main event on NBC on Saturday Night. And shock horror, the rating tanked. Now bear in mind, HHH is one of the greatest wrestlers ever. The way he plans out his matches meticulously, brings logic and structure to his storylines and performs flawlessly in the ring is magnificent. He undoubtedly deserves many world title reigns. But TEN? Even the most fanatical HHH fan (I'm presuming there are some out there) would have to admit that's stretching it a tad. Regin No. 11 is predictably starting in a few weeks when he makes John Cena look like a jabroni, and then it'll be off into the horizon, chasing Ric Flair's more meaningful record of 16 world titles. The problem is, no-one takes his quest seriously. Everyone knows that in real life he married the boss's daughter, and can thus muster up another title shot whenever he feels like it. No matter how good he is, it's a fact that he hasn't moved business in the right direction as champion, in the way Batista, John Cena and Edge have recently. You remember Edge, right? The guy who brought RAW its highest ratings since the brand extension in 2002? He's now languishing in the mid-card in a hastily arranged storyline, while the 'King of Kings' plods to his pre-arranged coronation on April 2nd. I doubt the TV audience were filled with glee when they heard that SNME was headlined by matches involving McMahon-Helmsleys. Just because it worked in 2000, doesn't mean it'll work in 2006.
With that said, I have a tremendous amount of respect for HHH's talent. Honest.
The show itself was, as I said, very entertaining. JBL was gold in his segment with Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mickie James continued to amaze the world by being part of an interesting women's storyline (did they swap scriptwriters for this?), and we were spared a Boogeyman match. No offence mate, but you were one of the long line of people called up too quickly from OVW. A year from now and your wrestling will probably be up to scratch, by which point it'll be too late. And they say society learns from its mistakes. Still no sign of Stacy Keibler though. The obvious idea is for her to save Torrie Wilson from Candice "Don't call me arrogant" Michelle and Victoria. So obvious that they'll probably overlook her for some heinous angle involving a midget and The Boogeyman's worms. You think I'm joking? While berating the WWE for attempting to relanuch SNME, the press clearly declared their interest in seeing Stacy again. One news outlet said something along the lines of, "We have no interest in watching HHH and The McMahon's step in the ring again. Now book Stacy Keibler, the most famous wrestler in America today, on the show - then we're talking." But they didn't. I guess they couldn't be bothered thinking up a storyline for her. Again.
Keibler: Not booked
RAW was a decent show this past Monday, although the show only really realises its potential when it comes from Texas, the only state in America with a half-decent crowd. When they go the North-East it's like someone's sat a wet newspaper in front of the crowd, they're so quiet. Unless they're booing the frig out of John Cena, of course. Wake up guys.
I have no idea what happened on Smackdown yet, as I don't read the spoilers. They ruin the entertainment value of the show. Bit like Mark Henry. I know, that was malicious.
WrestleMania Big Time Countdown: 10 days. I can't wait. Sort of.
